Is That REALLY Fear? by Meghan Genge

"Love bravely, live bravely, be courageous, there's really nothing to lose." - Jewel

A powerful shift happened before I had even gotten out of my pyjamas this morning.

My cells feel scrambled and the world looks different than it did 20 minutes ago.

I started the day listening to the last Circe's Tribe call recording. In the opening meditation, Jamie had us visualise something that included a colour and an emotion associated with it. The colour that I saw was pink, and when she said emotion, I thought that I felt panic. I have been feeling that feeling off an on for a few months now and I have been swallowing that feeling down, giving myself heartache in the process.

I almost stopped listening, but then a question came into my head: "Is that actually panic that I am feeling? Is it really fear or could it be another energy? Could it be power? Excitement? Passion? The colour was pink after all?!"

The question stopped me cold. In that moment I realised that I have the same reaction to all of the great big strong emotions. Afraid of their bigness, I call them all the same thing: fear. Being afraid of them meant that I stopped knowing what they really were.

That realisation brought on the most incredible feeling of expansion.

Then anxiousness.

Then excitement.

Big excitement.

And then I wrote this in my journal:

"Q: What do I focus on next?

I commit to meeting my emotions, naming and allowing them; letting them be as big as they need to be and expanding myself so that I am big enough and brave enough to hold them."

"Q: What do I do next?

I commit to meeting my emotions, naming and allowing them; letting them be as big as they need to be and expanding myself so that I am big enough and brave enough to hold them."

There's that feeling again, but I am going to walk over and meet it face-to-face.

yes.

Megg is a writer, a seeker, and a believer in magic.