Tuesday 20 November 2012

I Know Who I Am by Meghan Genge

"Unstiffen your supple body. Unchatter your quiet mind. Unfreeze your fiery heart." - Celeste West

goddess knocker door
I have known it all along.

I've known it since my fingers tingled reading The Mists of Avalon for the first time. But then I put the book away, afraid of where there was room for goddesses and magic in my good Christian life.

I've known it since I read my first SARK book, tucked up in bed and breathing differently for the first time. But then I put the book on my bookshelf and decided I was not an artist after all.

I have known it since my friend Carla showed me her tattoo of a woman giving birth and something about the symbol stuck with me so deeply that I can draw that image to this day. But then I became afraid of how true she was to herself, myself by comparison small and afraid.

I have known it since I picked up a big black book and read about Women Who Run with the Wolves. My soul responded and I heard the roar for the first time that would echo through my days forever after. But then I experienced profound grief that made me switch off and question myself and disconnect from most people for a long, long time.

I have known it, but definitions and stereotypes made me question everything: Woman? Witch? God? Goddess? Sacred? Feminine? Heroine? Queen? Faery? Dark? Light? Magic? Spirituality? Religion? How could I - a 'good girl' - find my path amongst those trees?

I have been writing and living and reading around and around it for a long time now. Every time I got close to touching it, my fingers longingly toying with my pen, knowing that I was capable of saying more, I would retreat to the haven of familiarity and safety.

But it hasn't given up on me, and now, as I get closer and closer to the centre, it has begun to follow me around. Images like the one on this door knocker, words tumbling towards me from pages and blogs and meetings with remarkable people all seem to be pointing to the same place.

Sacred. Feminine. Divine. Beautiful.


Which brings me to my question for you:

What have you known all along?

Meghan is a writer, a storyteller, and a finder of magic.


  1. I think there IS something that I've known all along - I just don't know what it is...if that makes any sense at all...

    I knew it when I talked to the ocean

    When I read and fell in love with Hercule Poirot

    When I read Choose Your Own Adventure Books and Encyclopedia Brown

    When I secretly opened a can of my mom's white paint and painted a piece of found wood to
    make myself a magic wand

    When I danced with my brother to 70's disco

    And I know it now when I walk into my new office space --

    But I only know it as a whisper and I can't really make out what the whisper says...

  2. This is very cool and thought-provoking. Maybe we don't need a label--or maybe we can make up our own. But just to keep following those things where they take us.

  3. I've known all along that I was a creative person but I am just now learning to say so. I could always recognize the creativity in others, I just took my own creativity for granted. Now, I celebrate it and share it with the world.