Saturday 28 January 2012
The Delicate Dance of Authenticity by Susan Cadley
"People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway." St. Teresa
If you've ever shared your hopes and dreams with someone and met with naysaying negativity or if you've left a conversation feeling bullied or diminished...take heart dear fellow soul traveler. There's a way to navigate this journey by taking most excellent care of yourself and remaining kind and authentic and true to your soul. It's not an either or situation - it's both.
When our boundaries are too open, we may give too much and then feel depleted, forget to edit what we say, or swallow our anger/hurt, all detrimental to ourselves and others. On the other end of the spectrum, when we are overly protective of shining our souls, we may turn down the dimmer and hide our talents, feelings, ideas from others. This can result in unlived dreams and feelings of depression or apathy. So how do we find the balance here? It's a delicate dance.
Vulnerability and strength hold hands and when they dance together; you are able to express who you are and take care of yourself at the same time. We all have a built-in "inner protector", and if you let her/him rise up to the occasion, you may be surprised at how empowered you will feel. Healthy communication is about speaking your truth from an "I" perspective, naming what you are experiencing, and then making a request if you need to. Hopefully you wouldn't allow a child to be bullied if you witnessed it - you'd step in to help. The same is true for your tender dreams and authentic self. Be you and stand up for yourself if you need to.
I'm choosing to be kind and open-hearted with healthy communication boundaries no matter what people show up with. How about you?
Here's the rest of St. Teresa poem;
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Be good anyway.
Honesty and frankness will make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway.
People need help but will attack you if you help them. Help them anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.
Susan is a Licensed Psychotherapist and Soul Coach and sole proprietor of Living From Within, LLC. Through counseling, coaching, creative workshops, book studies, and writing, Susan guides you to hear and live the messages of your soul.