Acceptance. It's really the key to finding your place in the world.
It's that recognition that you like this, but not that - you like to
draw in charcoal, but not pencil, or you like Fuji film more than Kodak.
Or hot countries more than cold. We all spend some much time trying to
fit in with how we think we should be. But this doesn't take us closer
to our soul, but further away from it.
Until my
early twenties I felt like I just didn't fit in anywhere. I couldn't
find my place, but I couldn't seem to squish myself into the hole I was
supposed to be occupying either. I imagine this feels quite familiar for
many creatives. In a way that's to be expected - I'm a great believer
that artists pave the way for society to follow, as they navigate the
not-so-comfortable cutting edge.
With
creativity comes sensibility. A sensitivity to the world, or your
medium. That's the thing to embrace. Finding your place is all about
where those sensitivities can flourish.
I've
been thinking a lot about our place in the world, as we start to tidy up
our house to put it on the market. We've packed some of our clutter
away and I miss it already. It's not that we're going far, but I do feel
a loyalty to our 1870s house, with it's lovely open fire and cosy
"workers" cottage feel, and a front door which opens straight into the
living room. Still I'm looking forward to the perfect house coming our
way, with enough space for creativity and kids and still room to swing a
cat.
But while the move will be important, I
know that for me coming home to myself often involves a journey. My
nomadic soul loves to move and somehow this brings me closer to myself. I
find it can be very creative. The journey shakes away the stresses of
day to day life. It provides a hiatus that allows the words to flow, or
the inspiration of a different perspective to come into my photography.
And I love the silence that travelling can bring.
But
I didn't really find my place until I went to India, one of the
noisiest places on earth! When I arrived I was an over sensitive person
who cried too much. By the time I left I had begun to connect with who I
was for the first time. The difference? In India being "tuned in",
having a spiritual take on life, is normal. I met loads of people who
were just like me. They interacted with the world like I did, and then
gave me the language and tools to start working with the sensitivity
that had felt so wrong up until that meeting. I learnt to meditate, to
use and trust my intuition. To understand I wasn't imagining the things I
"saw" "knew" "understood" beyond the normal world. I accepted my true
nature.
Don't get me wrong it was not the
easiest journey - not physically nor emotionally. And it's been a long
road too. India was my beginning. It opened the door. But I couldn't
have survived in this world without the skills I learnt there. I like to
say - I met a monk and it changed my life. It's true. It did. But the
reason it did was that I was "seen" as I truly was for the first time in
my life without judgement or rejection. Today, try to set aside the
judgements you have about yourself and just respond to your own
preferences. Allow yourself to be as you are, and that will take you
closer to finding your own place in this beautiful and complicated
world. There is, after all, room for us all.
Angel lives in the UK and is dreaming of a beautiful new house in which to thrive.
Angel, thank you for the great story about how profoundly your experience in India affected you--so glad it helped you come home to yourself and flourish as yourself.
ReplyDeleteThis is so powerful, Angel. I feel like I'm right there with you on your travels. Thank you for sharing this. It touched my heart.
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